You’re the novel I could never write
Although, I can read you like a book,
You’re that photograph of mystery
To everyone but me; I can always
Capture the lens of deceit in your eyes
Which never comes as a surprise to me!
You’re the scenery I could never paint
Drawing from your novelty of abstract
Distracts my fixation on your noble honor
You’re the song I’ll never have a voice to sing
Yet your melody is forever on rewind
Placed foremost in the corners of my mind
And the crucibles of my silence….
In the salt of my tears, in the rhythms,
Wanting to beat from my lips, or
The natural sway of my Caribbean hips
Rip current thighs, leading to the harbor where
Your ships and cargo, vessel of myths and filth
That I’ve grown accustomed to, docks!
Rocks steady, always ready to offload uncertainty
On my lap, slapping into blatant reality and out
Of the idea I conjured up that you wanted me.
You’re the map of interesting places I never explored
Constructs of monumental sadness I never understood
Collapsed ruins of shattered dreams I could never fix
Tirelessly trying in vain and pain
A wonderful treasure I always went in search of…
I wonder if you know or ever knew…
The embodiment of all I dream to be,
All I was and all I am, was for you
I wear you like a worn out garment.
A sash of pride with a bleeding inside,
A jazz cabaret trumpet harmonic high tide!
A “broke” subway poet en route to
Lover’s lane via a free express ride
To meet a local man on a high-speed chase
This! Is the northbound scarlet letter
I wished to turn into rags to riches story
Which gave way to only guns, no glory.
This locked and loaded love backfired!
Your trust issues gnawed at the tissues
And brought my heart to a FULL STOP
Blood‘red-light-special’ case! Leaving no trace,
Or ellipsis of remorse…
You come as commas in the wrong place
Pausing precious time to rewind into your
Old self, replaying heart strings and habits
Leaving me hanging on to the bare edge
Of your unanswered question…marks my
Psyche, branded seal of disapproval, forced
Removal of personal traits, crates of fragility
You fill me up with all your “nothing”
Which was all you ever had to offer!
In your confusion and my patience…
Not even a piece of you nor a peace-of-mind offering
Not an explanation for your “quote on quote”
Need for space nor your conjunction of lies…
You’re the hurdle that took me too long to get over
The obstacle course of challenging irony
That brought me back to square one repeatedly!
And always made me your number two;
Until an exclamatory jolt from my stifling emotions
Made me realize that there is no hyphen of meaning
Or compatibility to bridge the gap between us!
There is no history to join us, nor path to take us forward
So I burned the bridges and buried all hope
It’s gone up in flames and smoke!
It’s gone with the wind.
And so I kept a straight head!
No looking back
No asking why
I’m still walking…